2001.2001.2001. That was 11 years ago. I have been playing a waiting game for 11 years. Waiting to have the greatest man I have ever known appear in my dreams. Since he has been gone....my Mother says she has dreamed of him a few times.....each time....he says nothing....not one word....but he....is clear as day. So close to touch, such comfort to feel such his strong presence...
I am so pleased for her, really......how it must make her feel....to see him, reach out and touch him....it must be as close to heaven as you can get. Selfishly....a thought always flashes across my mind...."why not me?". Why has he never 'visited' me?....never appeared in one of my dreams?...not for a second....
The pain of his absence haunts me. The ache in my heart, is only felt by those who have walked the same unfortunate path....watching someone you love die. Watching your hero....your light....your protector.....slowly disappear........
Well two nights ago........the wait was over....I don't know why or for what reason....but my long wait came to an end. I could see his face so clearly, hear his voice....yes, he spoke in my dream.... funny... he never speaks in my Mother's.........I suppose someone might have a suggestion as to what that means but I myself, am not sure.
I do know that it gave me a comfort and a sense of calm that I haven't felt in a long time. It of course, made me want more time........more time....more time....
We can always look at pictures and videos yet when you dream of someone who is essentially a part of you that has been missing...... it is so personal.....it is as if you have that one more chance to share a moment with them...just the two of you...no one else..... how much more intimate can it get?
Of course, I hope that I don't have to wait another 11 years for another moment with the greatest man I ever knew, but I have had alot of practice at the waiting game....and he is definately worth the wait.
